Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
tell me about the fingering
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