Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
