At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I love having hate sex.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
