do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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