Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
