If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
So much rum. So many feels.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
