God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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