I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
