I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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