i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I think your dad took our porno
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
