my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
