it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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