Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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