Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
