It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i would punch a child for taco bell
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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