just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
