it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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