and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize