i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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