Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
