stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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