dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
