Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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