I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
