You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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