You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
