Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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