If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
