Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
