I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
