I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize