apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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