So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
