Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
