just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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