I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
