you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
