So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
