whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
