All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
