Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
