HIV tests are more positive than that guy
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize