Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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