he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
