The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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