It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
