There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
