Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
