so explain again why im purple
no
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
