Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
operation harelip BJ is a go
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
