11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Sry I called you an 8
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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