is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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