It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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