brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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