I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
