you have to choose: penises or morals?
where does the pee come out of this thing
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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