so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
