Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
This house was built for laser tag.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I had to cum in my sink.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
