You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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