Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
