i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
