so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
