i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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