I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Just high enough for therapy.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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