Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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