please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
