awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
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