I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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