what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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