tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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