I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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